Trying Hard Not To Try Hard

 You may (or more likely may not) have noticed it’s officially been 2 months since there was any action on LivActually. I can really only justify being truly busy for about 3 weeks of that time. The rest is a blur of Netflix and humidity and staring at my ceiling due to a timely back injury sustained at the beginning of summer which gave me ample time to write blogposts but I chose instead to waste away on the internet #summergoals

 It was a recent discovery of my midnight musings that has propelled me back into action. If you want to know what 1am version of yourself looks like I suggest taking a gander at the Notes section on your phone. A veritable treasure trove of incomprehensible and profound thoughts such as…

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(to be fair that second one was written at 8.09pm but I really can’t remember why I thought those four absolute bangers were so necessary to note down at the time)

So it is after discovering another rather deep and meaningful (and slightly incoherent) note I had written during one of these midnight philosophy sessions that today we’re talking resolutions, yeaaah you know (couldn’t find any appropriate resolution themed songs so we’re going with the closest second. cheers Lennon).  My longest lasting love/hate relationship.

*and yup 100% aware that it’s basically March, but my logic is that any resolutions you made on the 1st of Jan are long since abandoned. I call for March to be the second wave of ‘get shit together time’.*

I have been tempted many times to give up resolutions entirely. To instead commit to ignoring the change in year entirely. Refuse to reflect and move through seamlessly into the new year.

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But every time I’m dragged back in. It’s just too cosmic to ignore. 12 months of action and emotion and learning (and hangovers) have passed and now we start again. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it but it seems like one of a great miracles of the universe that some guy at some point just decided to say ‘yup I think we’ll cap it at Dec 31 and then like start again?’ (or something along those lines)

I have always spent my New Years in a tiny secluded bay at the back of Lake Taupo in New Zealand so it’s very hard to ignore what romantic comedies have been teaching me since day 1, when in doubt look out at the water and think about the meaning of life.

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……enough to inspire emotional goals in anyone

 But this year I’m letting go of the ‘hippy dippy’ resolutions, they served me well when I was 14 and seeking meaning in everything (they were dark times you guys).

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you started the lies Julia Roberts, you started lies .

I’m moving on now. But none of this ‘quit sugar’ crapola. I don’t want to see restrictions put on my life. I tried ‘only check Daily Mail once a day’ HA. I thought the point of goals was to achieve them.

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It seems these days that a resolution any less than ‘taking up an important new hobby’ or ‘meditating for 10 mins each day’ doesn’t actually count. While it’s true that the former sound far more productive than ‘put pants on each day’ I do tend to lean much more in favour of resolutions that are actually manageable.

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Another rookie error of resolution making is the classic overachiever. If you’ve read any of my stuff so far you’ll have to know that I’m not a fan of overachieving. I prefer a much more underdog/lazytothepointofimmensepersonaldistress approach to life. Admirable though it may be to set 5 or 6 resolutions, no person (except perhaps Gwynny P) can improve themselves in 6 different ways in 1 year.

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God Gwyneth give us a chance

The best feeling is actually seeing a resolution through to the end of the year (not that I have ever experienced it myself) so my advice is to think about 1 or 2 things. Things you have always wanted to do. You don’t have to throw your life off course, embed them in your daily life and commit.

ok so now for the heroes. the actual resolutions

go to bed earlier

I always start the night off so well, in bed at 10.30. then I’m thinking well I’ll just get in a quick episode of Friends, which straight away turns to two bc they are half an hour and who on earth has the self restraint to only watch one Friends episode at a time. So now we’re at 11.30. Followed by a ‘quick’ scroll through my Instagram feed for some light self esteem damage before bed and now we’re at 12.00. Followed by a look through my Snapchat Stories, further rotting my brain and taking us to 12.30. At this point I’m like yea ok I’ll go to sleep now. But nope my brain is like you 100% activated me and now I’m ready to keep you up for the next 3 hours. Repeat x7 nights a week

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read more books

This really follows on from the above point. The only way I can think of to combat the terrible pattern that is my sleep schedule is to nip it in the bud and read a godamn book. Over the summer holidays I reread the entire Harry potter series, without stopping all in a row (needless to say it was a raging summer) no but #realtalk it was amazing. My brain was free from the nonsense of Kim Kardashian memes and cute hedgehog videos.   Admittedly I did become the most deeply invested I have ever been in the HP gang BUT I also slept like a baby. A total win/win

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couldn’t have said it better myself Haz

be kind to everyone for you never know what secret battles they may be facing.

Yea I can definitely get on board with that. I recently attended a wedding and this was quoted in one of the speeches (ft. tears of champagne joy from yours truly, weddings are just too much). It’s not difficult to be nice to people but it can sometimes be difficult to make an effort and that’s the zone where I often find myself. So this is year the plan is to try harder to lose the dressing gown and make actual plans with real life people. This is possibly more daring and scary than anything I’ve seen on Nitro Circus.

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Ok so sounds achievable right? Read some more books, sleep some more, hug some more friends. Now I know that at least 30 people know about it as well, I feel like I might actually make a concerted effort.

If your resolution this year was to drink less or lose weight, go for it. I totally support you but plz don’t be afraid to go and eat a bowl of vodka jelly and watch some Masterchef Australia (*may or may not be based off real events) because life’s too short not to #liveyourtruth.

and if all else fails

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